The Bicycle Rides Again .

A brief news item appeared in some newspapers on Easter Saturday ( 11/04/09 )concerning an elderly woman whose bicycle had been stolen . The woman was 83 years old and had owned the bicycle for 66 years , having been given it as a present in 1943 . I thought what a shame ,,,and was about to move on when I remembered Flann O'Brien's theory in '' The Third Policeman'' where he suggested that an interchange of atoms took place between a cyclist and his/her bicycle over a period of time . That with constant usage , the bicycle gradually becomes human and vice versa . So maybe this elderly woman's bicycle wasn't stolen at all , maybe the bicycle had BECOME HER . Then I thought , thats not fair , couldn't be ......
Where did this happen anyway ?
In the state of Maine USA...MAINE !! Anyone who reads Stephen King's books knows about all the strange happening in that state . And didn't Stephen King write a story about a car , a 1956 Chevvy called ''Christine '' which took on human traits ???
Maybe one of the more positive outcomes of our recession will be a welcome return of more bicycles to our streets . But we should be careful ...that bicycle lying in the ditch or that old lady standing on the corner may not be as innocent as they seem...

We will probably be OK if we remember Flann O'Brien's five '' rules of wisdom '' ;
Ask questions , but never answer any ;
Turn everything you hear to your own advantage ;
Always carry a repair outfit ;
Take left turns as much as possible ;
Never apply your front brake first .

Animal Farm.

So it it all started with the Bulls and the Bears on Wall St.They were responsible for the Crash . For a while it seemed that the Markets were rising again but no ...it was only a 'dead cat bounce 'and the index continued to fall.
In Ireland we had our own cat , we called it The Celtic Tiger . This creature was easily recognised as it rampaged through its jungle of shoddily-built , over-priced , housing estates , with its mobile clamped to its ear , brushing aside all in its path .
First-time buyers were led like sheep to the latest over hyped new developments .
When some , responsible commentators , suggested that we might have a property crash and negative equity situation , as had happened in other countries , they were told by the vested interests that our boom was a horse of a different colour and they were 'neigh' (sorry ) sayers . Not only did they continue to ignore the elephant in the corner but they continued to build more white elephants ...Bertie Bowl,,,decentralising.....voting machines......
But the property crash did come and we had the weasel words and crocodile tears of the people who drove the market (they are very good at crocodile tears ).
When what was really going on eventually started to leak out and we began to realise that St. Patrick had not actually rid our country of all its snakes , the anger started .
We had the porcine similes , swine , greedy pigs , snouts in the trough....etc and although the dogs- in- the- streets had been barking warnings those responsible told us that no-one foresaw our crisis .
So now we are being alerted by our politicians to gird our loins (oops) and prepare for some brass-monkey weather ahead .
Ah ..welcome to Animal Farm..!

Slippery when wet

We arrived in Barcelona on Friday 13th Feb . , spent two days sightseeing there and on Sunday 15th made our way to the port and saw our cruise ship Norwegian Jade for the first time .This magnificent ship , fourteen decks high , with a passenger capacity of 2000 and a crew of 1500 overwhelmed us .
The logistics of boarding 2000 people and their luggage for a 12 day cruise was handled as smoothly as boarding a train for Galway . We exchanged our passports for our stateroom key-card and by the time we reached our cabin our luggage was in place .
As we passed through the main lounge my wife immediatly pointed to the glass ceiling and remarked , ominously , how much it reminded her of the ship in the film ''The Poseidon Adventure ''.
We settled in , explored the ship , among other things , 8 or 9 restaurant , 3 swimming pools , 4 jacuzzies , a theatre seating 1500 , cabaret rooms , bars , reading rooms , games rooms , etc.....
When this massive vessel started eventually set sail out of the port of Barcelona we hardly detected any sensation of motion .
Our first port of call was Rome , all the various options of guided tours were laid out and we chose 'Rome on your own' , which we did , from St.Peters Square , we visited the Vatican , saw thw Sistine Chapel...( if you are finding this chronicle boring , you have my permission to click out at any stage ).Then we wandered off to try and find , on foot , the Coliseum , the Trevi Fountain etc , and eventually rushed back thinking that we were about to miss the boat.
Following another day or so at sea we arrived in the port of Pereus (?) and toured Athens by coach ( photos to follow....)
Another day at sea and we arrived in Turkey , a tour which took us to the ancient town of Ephesus , a fascinating place with links to St.Paul , an amphitheatre , where St.Paul -preaching , Barbra Stiesand-singing and Elton John-?..all performed ), white marble roads , remains of buildings from library to brothel ,( we were told by the guide that there was a tunnel underground between the library and the brothel , husbands would say ''I'm just off to the library dear.....''), public toilets (in marble ) where Paul , Barbra , and Elton , may also have'' performed''. On our journey back to the ship we were given a tour of a Turkish carpet showrooms , where we were shown how the most beautiful carpets in the world , from spinning the silk , to weaving , to the finished article , dazzling colours, prices ranged from $100 to $100,000 , unfortunatly no free samples...
The downside was that it rained ALL day , so much so that the guide , who was from Ephesus said that he had never experienced anything like the rain and the cold before .( When St. Paul wrote all those letters HE NEVER ONCE MENTIONED THE WEATHER . ).
A day and a half later we arrived in the port of Alexandria and chose a trip to Cairo to see the Pyramids. .........
By my reckoning on touching the African continent we had now walked on three continents in three days or thereabouts ....Europe , Asia ..(..yes Turkey was deemed to be in Asia ) , and now Africa .
Alexandria is about 3 hours by road from Cairo and we could see how the desert was gradually being reclaimed in the area between the two cities.....a slow process of course . Cairo was a disappointment in some ways , lots of rubbish on the streets , unfinished buildings making the skyline look untidy , evidence of poverty , but on reaching the edge of the city and seeing the three magnificent Pyramids and the Sphinx so close to it was a big surprise .....we expected to have to journey for hours out in to the desert in order to see them...
Dozens of souvenier sellers , persistent but not agressive , they just didn't take NO for an answer .
We will skip over the incident where my wife tried to escape on the tour bus without me......
a trip along the Nile on a 'barge', dancing with a belly- dancer , information on the making of papyrus and the gold , tourist , and oil industries , some of the social statistics ( 75 million people in Egypt , 22.5 million in Cairo ) , the reasons for the unfinished homes , all gave us an insight to this historical ,biblical country , and went some way to explaining why there was so much apparent poverty in what should be a wealthy country . ... ..
We visited a mosque ....I thought that the ban on wearing shorts only applied to women , not so I had not only to take off my shoes but also to cover my legs with my raincoat....
I did have my cold beer , but the unusually cold weather gave a whole new meaning to the phrase ''Ice Cold in Alex''.
Malta was our last stop before heading back to Barcelona . To see the cruise liner manouvering to tie up in the little ( at least little in comparison to the size of the huge cruise-liner ) , had to be seen to be believed , like trying to park an army tank in a tiny front garden....(.worth the trip in itself...) .....
The guide told us about the history and geography of the island ( and geology ....limestone , ),an incredible story (THE MALTA STORY ?????) not enough room to even scratch the surface , well worth another visit .Romans , Greeks , British , French ...etc all contributed to its history leaving behind a very rich culture and a language that seems to have bits of all of the above ...
So we arrived back in Barcelona , said goodbye to our brief accqaintances , ( including Mike from Montana , and , I think Winnie from Wisconsin , where apparently the weather is always worse that anywhere else...)....and made our way back to the comforting arms of Ryanair and back home to the recession....

A truly wonderful , wonderful experience , for which we heartily thank all of you who helped to bring it about , we loved it , in spite of our initial concerns , we would NEVER have experienced all that without you ....one last comment ....HOW THE HELL DID YOU ALL MANAGE TO KEEP THE SECRET FOR SUCH A LONG TIME ?

Almost....speechless......

So the Governor of the Central Bank ( who he ? , or better still , where WAS he for the past 10 years ? ) , anyway whoever he is or wherever he was during the obscene housing boom , in his WISDOM , he appears to have come to the conclusion that the best way to rescue his greedy banker mates is to make sure that EVERYONE pays for his ineptitude and his pals greed by insisting that each home now stumps up € 1000 per annum irrespective of size of dwelling (apparently NOT including second or HOLIDAY homes , as these have already been levied at the magnificent sum of € 200 per annum in the so-called budget .)
This man , who played Stan Laurel to the Financial REGULATOR'S , Oliver Hardy , for the enjoyment of those who were driving ''a coach and four '' through every piece of financial and moral code imaginable , giving us , the fools ( you don't mind being called a 'fool' now do you ) , the impression that all was in order , the 'fundamentals ' were strong and occasionally , for show , tut .tut. tutting . at some minor infringement of the 'rules' by the greedy ones .
Notice how Nationalism and Moral Codes are suddenly back on the agenda .'' We are all in this together '' is the new mantra , '' we all must feel the pain '' is the cry , I have already paid my 'levy' on my pension , which , incidentally ,decreased in real value over the past 10 years because our society had become 'a high value ' society and people of low worth were not welcomed . I wonder will the pension of our high ranking civil servants , such as the Regulator , or the Chief of the Central Bank ,be eroded by abnormal inflation .......???? So I have already paid twice over and many , many , people are even worse off.......but our high ranking politicians and our permanent Government of over-paid ''Sir Humphries'' will be OK

GOD BLESS IRELAND , SAY the HEROES.....

2009 , some heartbreak and a new civil service

Christmas came and went , 2009 crept in with less fanfare than I can remember in 68 years , some wonderful news from most sides and some heartbreak . Not many people talking about plans for a new exciting year , they seem to be thinking ''if only we can survive 2009 , 2010 simply HAS to be better ''....Some of those in power still in denial as far as national and international financial/banking crisis is concerned . Many of those who were responsible for our national housing /borrowing disaster , people who were warned again and again about the almost certain outcome of greedy building boom , escalating house prices and the ballooning credit are wringing their hands and pretending that THEY had no responsibility in what happened .
Having literally sold our country in a desperate effort to bail out their greedy idiot friends and cover up for their own blatant incompetance at all levels ,our so-called 'leaders ' are NOW talking about PATRIOTISM .

We never seem to learn from history . It is said that just before the Wall St. crash of thirties , some of the more shrewd investors who got their money out in time ( among them JFK's father , old Joe Kennedy ) , explained afterwards that ''when newspaper boys and domestic servants start buying shares thats the time for the shrewd ones to start selling...''
In Ireland when almost EVERYONE seemed to be buying houses, not just as a 'roof over their heads ' , but buying as many as they could 'afford' , some people two or three overpriced properties . Interest rates were low , because we were linked to European interest rates , bankers were more than willing to be 'flexible' on their means- testing for potential borrowers and , of course , because of the demand lunacy , encouraged by an irresponsible Government , the paper -value of these properties was increasing by the day .
No , it was not caused by the young people who were caught up in the frenzy of property speculation , who believed and trusted a ' dogy' administration not to lead them over the cliff , like sheep or lemmings , these are the people most exposed now , this housing and banking crises in Ireland is the responsibility of our current and immediatly previous administration , solely .

Unfortunetly we , as tax payers , we , and those who come after us , must carry the burden of sorting out this mess , the politicians and higher civil servants , who created it , are too deeply involved in trying to escape blame that they now suffer from terminal inertia .
But this can also be a challange . There must be a middle rank of intelligent ,well qualified civil servants capable of pushing aside the ossified ''Sir Humphries '' of the 'permanent government'. These middle rank would know how the system should work , be truly dedicated professional public servants , and be simply itching to turn the country around .Salary , the size of their office , personal prestige , having their names in Irish , and confusing incompetant government ministers , would not be their priority , just getting the job done . It is time now for that group , and I am convinced they exist , to come to the fore , they could be the heroes of the future....

Snow

Adults and children love snow , the only difference is that children admit that they like it and adults pretend that they don't but , deep down inside , the child in them remembers....

A very heavy snowfall when I was young still stays in my memory . We woke up one morning and there it was ....The whole suburban neighbourhood looked different . During the night an invisible hand (as the saying goes ) , had decorated trees ,walls , fences , and made ordinary or in some cases , ugly -looking buildings look beautiful . At first it wasn't really deep , certainly not crisp , it wasn't even even....even . But it was SNOW....and later on it snowed some more and more until footpaths were indistinguishable from roadways . We decided to make a giant snow-boulder , just as we had seen ' Desperate Dan ' do in the Dandy .
It was not as easy as it looked and three of us struggled to push a huge ever -increasing snowball in the general direction of Orwell Hill , gathering leaves , twigs , empty cigarette cartons , all the pavement detritus of the locality including occasionally , pieces of dog-poo . But despite our efforts we never did make it as far as the hill and had to abandon it , and for all I know it may still be slowly melting away somewhere in the area to this day .
We made our snowmen , pelted each other with snowballs and enjoyed the free entertainment .
But the best was still to come . It froze . This must have been 1947 , because , since , I have heard many people who are even older than I am talk about the terrible winter of '47 .
When the snow froze , the deep ruts that had been made , by the few cars that were around at the time , became icy channels , we built tunnels and bridges for our toy soldiers . We made slides on the already slippery footpaths , completely oblivious of the danger to our elderly neighbours .
These slides were 10 or 12 feet long and gave us great excitement but were very dangerous ,and we occasionally received a 'skelp' of a walking stick or an umbrella from the old folk . No running to parents or guardians or the police in those days , we reckoned that we had it coming . Besides , we could always get our own back by throwing snowballs , but even snowballs were dangerous then , because when the snow was compacted it became ice and could cause serious injury....
For the growups that must have been a particularly bad time .Most deliveries were still being made by horse-drawn vehicles , and horses often slipped on the frozen surfaces and had to be removed from the carts . Trams stopped or had infrequent services .But people generally seemed to manage and the older generation were particularly cared for by their neighbours and close family.
Eventually the snow melted and the traffic reclaimed the streets , frozen waterpipes were fixed , schools re-opened and we walked to school , still trying to make slides on the , now almost ice-free , footpaths.......

Robin

Robin had been feeling uneasy all day . He had been awakened on his perch in the little barn by the sound of wind-driven icy branches tapping against the window . The weather had grown even colder during the day , flurries of snow were already falling . The coming of cold weather meant little food would be available inside or outside the barn . He ruffled his rust-red feathers .
Robin had a clear view of the front door of the inn-tavern beside the barn .The man inside was locking up for the night ,shutters slammed down , door closed and bolted , lanterns dimmed .All was quiet.
Darkness was closing in and Robin decided to fly back to his nest in the barn as there would be no more food available this night .
But the uneasy feeling persisted , something extra-ordinary was going to happen .He heard a sound .
Despite the falling snow he could see a short distance up the road and was soon able to identify a donkey with a woman on his back , being led by a man walking beside . The man had been consoling the woman with gentle comments , but his voice rose with excitement when he saw the dim light of the tavern . When they arrived at the tavern the man pounded with his fists on the door . No reply . He pounded again , still no reply and again ...until eventually the man inside opened a shutter and shouted something to the man outside . The man outside was persistent and eventually the man inside came and opened the door slightly but wide enough for Robin to be able to catch a brief glimpse of a blazing fire and food laid out on tables....giving a feeling of warmth and companionship . The man outside appealed to the man inside who eventually pointed to the barn where Robin lived .
The barn was small and the animals that stalled there kept the absolute cold out with their body-heat and the couple seemed to be grateful to have some shelter .
Robin flew back to his nest in the rafters and watched as the man and the woman settled in .The woman unwound her long heavy cloak , the man took the blanket off the donkey and made her as comfortable as possible . Robin was disappointed that no food seemed available and eventually he went to sleep listening to the soothing sounds that the man made to comfort the woman .
He woke again to the sound of a baby 's cry . The man and the woman were making sounds of joy mixed with a little weeping , over their new-born boy . Robin knew that he was experiencing something special and felt privilaged to be part of this beautiful , intimate , family scene , before the world at large came in to share it .
Over the following days the world did come , by some mysterious means the word went out that something special had happened and old and young , rich and poor , foreign and local came to visit the child . The local children came first of course , Robin knew them well and there was always spare food scattered when they came , Rebecca , Amber , Sophie , David closely followed by Gracie .
As days passed the man and the woman became anxious , again , and they appeared to be preparing to travel . And then , one morning , they were gone.......

That was the beginning ......
Robin was not to know that many years later and not too far away , another robin from another generation would witness that baby , now grown , when the young man was once again alone except for his mother and a small group of people , or images of thorns , cross , nails , blood staining a robins breast.....and Robin-Redbreast would forever be associated with another wonderful event.......
And even today , over two thousand years later , although almost everything else has changed , the message of peace and justice and goodwill to all men still remains the same .